Weak
by DecidedlyPositive
Summary: As long as she was weak, she was safe. As long as she was weak, she would live. As long as she was weak, she would never die by his hand. Kamui watches his sister in the downpour of rain and remembers. Oneshot of the sibling bond of Kagura and Kamui


**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama, or any of its characters or plotlines. **

*****Just an angsty oneshot about the brother-sister bond of Kamui and Kagura and their dysfunctional family.*****

* * *

Small drops of rain plopped onto pink-tinted hair, traveling down the strands of the braid the man wore.

A hand was lifted carelessly, the water droplets allowed to roll across the pale, Yato skin of the man.

Funny, he thought absently, as his startlingly blue eyes peeking out of his bandaged face traced the progress of the water. He had measured his life by the rain—each year as the rainy season had come was another year of his existence. His long-lived life, his quest for ultimate power.

The rain came and went, and so did the people and events around him. Perceptions changed, as did beliefs and relations. Meaningless, all of them…as inconsistent and passing as the water which spattered onto the ground and were absorbed into the cycle of life yet again.

But how was it, he mused, that throughout the rain that had occupied his life, he still returned time and time again to seek the sun? The one consistency in his world, it seemed.

How ironic. Yato hated the sun. They longed for it, desiring its warmth, only to be burned when they tried to allow its rays to caress their ashen skins. The sun was their enemy—a fact that all Yato children learned as they grew up under the dreary, cloudy sky of their home planet. It was something to be looked at, but not touched. Something to be revered, but not reached for.

But Kamui had never been one to follow rules or useless traditions. He traveled his own path, regardless of the consequences. He had always done so. Always.

His teacher had once told him that the path he was traveling was a lonely one, that it was one full of regrets and emptiness. That he would look back and find a wasted trail of destruction and sorrow marking his legacy.

Kamui smirked, though his deep blue eyes remained as expressionless as ever. He was fine with that, as long as he achieved what he wanted in the end, in spite of the eventual cost.

He had no regrets, no desire to look back…but it annoyed him to no end that his path, somehow, always led him back here, where she was. He had no regrets, but she was far too close to being one.

He told himself it was merely an interest to see how much stronger she had become, to see if she was finally worthy of killing, of being another mark of his strength. As their father had once been.

And so he came, each year washing into Edo with the rainy season, much to Abuto's confusion and befuddlement. Each year he found her, and each year he concluded that she was not yet strong enough.

He couldn't end her life just yet, not when she was still so disgustingly weak. After all, all weak people had the hidden potential to become something more.

And she had always been weak. To Kamui, it didn't matter that she could splinter trees with her bare fist, or fight with the toughest of criminals and emerge victorious with nary a scratch.

For he had watched her all of her life, for nineteen long years, starting with the rain that had practically flooded their home planet… Memories mixed and swirled within his mind, some more clear than others, and some more hazy and distorted. Memories…another burden, another waste. Another crutch for the weak-minded.

And Kamui had always been anything but.

* * *

_Nineteen years previously, the planet of the Yato clan_

Kamui remembered a time when he had cherished his sister beyond any other creature. He remembered the ferocious rains that beat against the glass windows of their shabby home, and wincing as he heard his mother's hoarse cries as she gave birth to Kagura.

He remembered being frightened, his blue eyes filling with terror as he prayed for his mother to survive. The sounds she was making were so terrible, he couldn't imagine her living through the night.

He remembered his father, someone he had looked up to constantly for guidance and strength, pacing the length of the outer room, his thick crop of black hair bouncing as he walked. He remembered questioning, with trembling lips, if mother and the baby were going to die. He got a fatherly hair ruffle for his trouble, and was told not to be so foolish for thinking so. He remembered being instantly reassured, for if his father had said they wouldn't die, then they wouldn't die.

Kamui remembered wondering if his new sibling would get his father's black locks, or his mother's beautiful pink ones, like he had. Secretly, he was hoping for the latter. After all, he had thought, miserably fingering his girlishly colored hair, it would make it less annoying if he had a brother or sister with the same color hair.

He remembered peeking around the doorway and into his parents' room after the midwife had _finally_ come out, beckoning for his father to enter. Kamui had laughed when he saw his fearless father, the famous Umibouzu, go pale and practically leap into the room.

He remembered slowly approaching his mother's side with timid, unsure steps, not knowing what to expect. His father had reached out and pulled him closer, and Kamui had let out a sigh of relief when he saw that mother was smiling radiantly and holding a small moving bundle.

To his joy, he noticed that it had pink fuzz on the top of its head.

He remembered his mother gently holding his new baby sister out to him, showing him how to embrace her carefully and safely, and marveling over how _tiny_ and _helpless_ she was.

"Kamui-chan." He had looked up at his mother's flushed but boundlessly happy face. "This is Kagura."

A small gurgle caught his attention, and he immediately glanced down at the cooing baby in his arms. She was staring up at him curiously, her face still as she examined this new stranger. Intrigued, Kamui had stared right back at her unblinkingly.

Kamui remembered how she smiled at him _first_, her cloudy blue eyes scrunched up cutely and her little mouth curled up in a laughing grin.

He had hugged her closer. "Nice to meet you, Kagura-chan." Tentatively, he had brought up a finger to touch her pudgy cheek, amazed at how soft her face was. "I'll be your nii-chan from now on, Kagura-chan."

Then she had peed on him.

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, the planet of the Yato clan_

Kagura had been staring at him pleadingly from where she sat in the corner for the better part of an hour. In her arms, she was clutching the large rabbit she had immediately dubbed Sadaharu. Where she had come up with that name, he wasn't exactly sure. Sometimes he questioned the inner workings of his little sister's mind.

Outside, the rain was still thumping against the house in a steady beat, making it impossible to see anything that was going on.

Kamui sighed, trying to resist the urge to give into his four-year-old sister's wide, teary blue eyes. Valiantly, he turned his back on her, attempting to focus on his homework again. He didn't have any time to play with her today, and Mother and Father were both out at the moment.

Plop. Plop. Plop.

He glanced, irritated, at a leak in the roof that was allowing water to drop onto the floor.

Kagura was looking at it too, and then at him, and was trying to cover her mouth to stifle her giggles. The look Kamui shot her just increased her mirth further.

Plop. Plop. Plop. The sound of his little sister's laughter. Plop. Plop. Plop.

The rabbit in Kagura's arms started thumping his foot on the floor.

Plop. Plop. Plop. His sister laughing. Plop. Plop. Plop. Thump. Thump. Thump.

That did it. Kamui slammed his book shut suddenly, pushing away the papers he had been working on. It didn't look like he was going to be able to get anything done with all these distractions, he admitted to himself.

Well, if he didn't have anything else to do, he might as well play with Kagura.

She was way ahead of him. Bouncing up onto her feet, she skipped over to him, latching onto his arm and snuggling up to it. She looked up at him with happy blue orbs shining in her face excitedly. "Nii-chan, since you're not busy anymore, play with me!"

He raised an eyebrow at her expectedly, and she hastily threw in, "Please!"

Teasingly, he stalled, "Well…I don't know."

"Oniiiii-chan!"

Rolling his eyes at her whininess, he playfully put a hand on her hair and ruffled it, making her squeal and grab his hand. "Hey!"

Kamui got up from the table, pulling her to the center of the room. "Wanna learn how to beat up bad guys, Kagura-chan?"

She blinked up at him innocently. "Bad guys?"

He nodded, explaining, "Like Otou-san does. You know, evil monsters and aliens that hurt people."

"Oh! Like you learn at school, nii-chan?"

Kamui had already been enrolled at the academy for Yato children his age. Due to their blood and heritage, there was a heavier focus on martial arts and fighting techniques more than anything else. After all, most Yato were expected to become alien hunters employed by their government and sent to other planets to help. The Yato clan were routinely recognized as the best in the universe at what they did; hence the rigorous training programs at the academy.

Kamui had been learning, and learning well.

He had already been labeled a genius by his peers, something which his father was immensely proud of.

"Yeah, like at school." He surveyed his sister carefully, sizing her up. Best to start with the basics.

Kamui kneeled to the ground to reach Kagura's level, and held up his hands in front of her. "Okay, Kagura-chan, hit me."

Her eyes went round, and she looked at him in childish disbelief and panic.

He laughed. "Don't worry, you can't hurt me." The thought of being actually hurt by his cute little sister was extremely ludicrous. "C'mon, imouto, just try to punch my hand."

Hesitantly, but not wanting to displease her brother, Kagura rounded her little hand into a fist, and determinedly sent it flying at her brother's big hand. Kamui took the impact, and was impressed at how hard it was. He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling. "Good job, Kagura-chan!"

She laughed happily, clapping her hands. "I did it!"

"Mm-hmm, but now try to curl your hands tighter, your punch was a little loose."

" 'Kay."

"And straighten your body out, it's not good to fight hunched over."

"Got it!"

"Alright, now try it again."

However it was right then that the front door opened, bringing in the torrential barrage of water into the house as well. Kamui turned his head to see who had walked in, forgetting momentarily about Kagura.

Unfortunately, following her brother's words obediently, Kagura straightened her body and tightened her fist and threw a punch at him—

Missing his hand completely and hitting a distracted Kamui right in the nose.

A crack was heard.

Everyone looked at Kamui's nose, which was now gushing blood.

The silence was punctuated by his father's outbreak of rumbling laughter, and his mother was already rushing forwards frantically to try and stem the flow of blood.

That was when Kamui made up his mind never to fight his little sister again. He had obviously taught her far too well, he thought hastily, and then went off to nurse his wounded pride and his nose.

* * *

_12 years previously, the planet of the Yato clan_

Kamui was thirteen. Kagura, her body burrowed into his side as she wept loudly, had just turned seven last week.

Their father was nowhere to be found. He was off on another planet, saving the people from ruin and destruction. As usual. It seemed that had become the norm for the last few years.

He hadn't heard the news yet, despite Kamui's best efforts to reach him.

The hand not holding Kagura tightened into a tense fist. He hadn't been there when they'd needed him. He could save other people from monsters, but wasn't even here to save Kagura from her tears. To save Kamui from the heavy burden of dealing with this all by himself.

Raindrops fell heavily around them, mirroring the somber mood perfectly. They hit his nose, rolling down his cheek, and Kamui couldn't tell if the water was rain or tears. Probably both.

Kamui watched, feeling far away, as they lowered his mother's cold body into the soaking wet ground. The only thing that anchored him to the present was Kagura's little hands twisted in his shirt as she held onto him, and the cries emitting from her desperately.

He kept her face hidden in his side firmly, even when she tried to turn and look. She didn't need to see this. She didn't need her last memory of her mother as a corpse, sickly and wasted, from grief and illness. She didn't need the stigma of guilt and the feeling of blame towards their father.

Kamui kept his face in a hard mask, his eyes showing nothing, his mouth pressed in a flat, thin line.

It was over quickly. It was frightening how swiftly you could bury people, Kamui thought dispassionately, though his observation was tinted with fear. It was frightening how rapidly you could dispose of someone who had meant so much. How quickly everything they had done in life was gone, along with their thoughts and emotions and actions.

In the end, no matter how strong you were, you couldn't beat death. You could only get strong enough to stop everyone else from killing you, and hope to die when you were old and had fulfilled your goals. Somewhere along the line, just by living and experiencing, Kamui had learned that.

Kamui shivered, though he wasn't sure if it was from his thoughts or the icy cold rain. Both seemed equally harsh and bone-chilling. Kagura looked up tearfully when she felt the tremor run through her brother's body.

"Kamui-nii, is…is…is it over?" Her trembling voice broke a little on the last word, her blue eyes filling with tears and making her vision blur.

"Aa."

"Where's—sniff—where's Otou-san?"

She didn't see the hard look that came into her elder brother's eyes. "He won't come today."

"But…why?"

Kamui gripped Kagura tightly, and reminded himself to reel in his anger and not scare her. She'd been through enough today.

"He…had more important things to do, I guess."

"Oh," she uttered softly, so soft that Kamui almost missed it.

The hard mask over his face slipped a little as he looked at his sister and her miserable, bewildered face. She was so helpless. She was so weak and defenseless right now. She was like him, just a mere child who didn't know what to do. But he had to be the strong one now, he thought bitterly. Because his father wasn't there to do it. Bending down, he picked up her limp body in his arms, cradling her close to him.

"We're going home now, Kagura." A home where there was just him and Kagura. That was all he would have anymore. That was all they needed now. He wouldn't rely on anyone else again.

He felt her nod once, though she said nothing. He could tell she was almost on the brink of sleep, and indeed, a few minutes later, she was unconscious in his arms. Her soft, regular breaths and little snores were comforting sounds to him.

He hurried through the gray, lifeless city to where their house was, trying to move quickly and get Kagura out of the rain. He wasn't fast enough to dodge the rain though. He never was. He never would be.

His eyes narrowed as he neared their house, homing in on the hulking figure leaning against the cracked door of their home.

He approached cautiously, shifting Kagura into a more secure hold. His eyes widened slightly as he recognized the Yato man leaning against their house. What could he possibly want?

Calmly, putting on his indifferent mask again, he came to a stop in front of the man—his father's rival. "Housen."

The man called Housen lowered his umbrella, revealing the full extent of his aged and grizzled face. "Kamui. It's been a while." There was nothing warm or inviting about this man—his cold gaze swept over Kamui, calculating and perceptive.

"Yes. I suggest you leave."

"Where are your manners, young one?"

Kamui gritted his teeth. He had to tread carefully—this man hated his father. And right now, Kamui wasn't any match for him.

Not yet.

Crinkling his face up into a falsely pleasant expression, he said mildly, "I need to get my sister out of the rain."

"How sweet."

Ignoring the jibe, Kamui walked past Housen, unlocking the door of the house.

"So you buried your mother today."

Stiffening, Kamui stopped in his tracks. "I fail to see what business it is of yours, Housen-sama."

A harsh laugh. "Your mother's dead and your father's gone." Kamui pushed down his rising temper, trying to avoid turning around and attacking the elder Yato. "I was just wondering if you'd considered my proposal any more, now that you don't have anything tying you down here."

Kamui repressed a sneer from making its way onto his face. "I still have my sister." He put his hand on the doorknob, intending to push it open.

"And how long do you think she'll stay alive in a place like this, boy?"

Kamui froze.

Housen, relentlessly, continued on. "You have potential. It's not being cultivated as it should be." He paused, his eyes mercilessly resting on Kamui's still form. "Your mother's dead because you couldn't beat death. I can teach you how to do that. To beat death. To become stronger than any other being."

Kamui's hand slipped off the doorknob.

"To become strong enough to keep your precious little sister alive."

Kagura was slumbering peacefully in his arms. How he wished she would never be disturbed from her dreams. How he wished he could keep her from waking up into this world.

"All you have to do…is accept me as your teacher."

Kamui looked down at his sister, deliberating. He swallowed hard. And turned—

* * *

_10 years previously, the planet of the Yato clan_

Kamui remembered the blood on the floor that day. His blood. His face had been covered in it, making it hard to draw breath. He remembered the loud crash of thunder outside that was drowned out by the shrill noise of Kagura's horrified screams.

He remembered seeing the glorious instance of killing intent shoot through his _mighty_ father's eyes as Kamui had precisely severed his arm from his body, the appendage hitting the wooden floor with a resounding thud. Kamui had felt such a rush, a thrill—for this was a culmination of his training with Housen-sama. A measure of his strength at last.

The long-dead practice of parent-killing would be revived by him. His long-sought after power would finally be tested. And in a few years, after his master could no longer teach him anything more, he would obliterate him as well.

Such was the price of gaining power.

But Kamui hadn't expected to provoke the full extent of his father's fearsome Yato blood. He hadn't expected that his father would still be able to put up a fight worthy of his time. It looked as though the old man still had some spirit left in him after all.

His blue eyes had been surprised and pleased, stained red by bloodthirstiness, as his father had brutally tightened his hand around his fifteen-year-old son's throat in a killing move.

Kamui had laughed, provoking Umibouzu to throw him carelessly to the ground, stalking his body's movements and coiling in preparation to deal him a final blow.

But something had broken through the red-colored world of both Yato males, bound only through blood now.

A little girl, clad in her bright yellow raincoat that now had smatterings of blood on it, threw herself at her father, screaming and crying for him not to hurt Kamui-nii anymore. Kagura had clutched her father's leg with her weak hands, trying to pull him back from her brother and back into reality. She had been determined to save both of them from themselves and their heritage.

Kamui never forgot the terror in her eyes as she looked from him, lying on the ground in a pool of his own warm, sticky blood, to her mutilated father, whose face held no mercy for his first-born child.

Kamui never forgot her whimpered question of "_Why?_", or how his father's eyes had miraculously cleared for the first time as he seemingly recognized just _who_ he had been about to kill.

Kamui never forgot the intense pang of anger that had traveled through him at having exposed Kagura to this. She wasn't supposed to be here; he hadn't even thought her to be in the house. That was the only regret he had at the time, when he still was able to feel. The only regret he ever would have about what he had been trying to do.

…

A few days later he left for good. He left behind his shameful, weak childhood days and the one bond that could still make him hesitate.

He left with his umbrella slung over his shoulder and his eyes hard, like blue glittering diamonds. He left for a quest of unimaginable strength, power, and manipulation.

He remembered Kagura chasing after him, and wondering if there would ever be a day when she would stop trying to reach him. If there would ever be a day when she stopped needing him to be there.

He remembered cutting their bond, breaking every promise he had ever made to himself and her.

"Kamui-nii, wait!" There it was, that pitiful, pleading cry that almost made him stop. But it remained unheeded, and he continued on his way.

"Don't leave me, please!" But he couldn't stay. That was the price one paid for fulfilling their goals, after all. He knew this to be true.

"You'll come back right, onii-chan? Right?"

"No."

A deathly silence. It reminded Kamui of how silent everything had been at his mother's funeral. Then came a tremulous, "Why…are you leaving me, Kamui-nii?"

And then he said the most damning words of all, knowing their impact all too well. Knowing she'd remember it for the rest of her days, and that she would despise him for it.

"I don't have time for weak little children…you're just a burden to me, Kagura."

* * *

_Five years previously, Edo_

Years passed. Years filled with slaughter and death and a lust for killing. Years of transformation and changing of both body and soul. Years in which he became someone completely unrecognizable. Years in which he never saw the little Yato girl he had left behind in the pouring rain.

He had come to Yoshiwara to check up on his old master, Housen. The one responsible for who he had become. He had come with the intent to kill the Night King at last—something which was long overdue in his mind.

But another long overdue meeting had occurred, and an unexpected one at that. He had seen her again after such a long time, though his face betrayed nothing at the sight of her. His sister, however, had worn a look of horrified surprise at the sight of him, right before he had destroyed the pipeline she and her companions had been precariously standing on.

He told himself that it mattered little to him. That she was of no consequence anymore.

She was still as weak as he remembered, though Abuto had mentioned in passing that she was more like him than he realized. He resolutely ignored the sick twist of his gut at hearing that.

He remembered a brief flare of interest in learning that she had fought Abuto and lived, and had wondered if his impression of her still held true. Wondered if he would have to worry about her as a potential threat someday.

He had seen her only once more before they took their departure. After Housen had been defeated by that _interesting_ silver-haired man. She had attacked him ferociously before a glasses-wearing kid had restrained her, swearing with burning blue eyes to change his "sick and twisted nature".

His gaze had fallen briefly on her bandaged arm and her battered, weary form, and for a moment he felt the stirrings of long-buried emotions.

Flippantly, aiming to hurt her more, and denying any real concern, he had asked the silver-haired samurai to watch out for his useless sister. If she was guarded by the man that had overcome Housen, then she was in good hands…at least until he came back to kill the samurai.

Kamui had left Yoshiwara with a pensive look on his face, leaving Abuto in no doubt as to whom his captain was thinking about.

Abuto had chuckled mirthlessly, muttering something about interesting siblings.

* * *

_Present day, Edo_

And now…now he was watching her once again. In all of her weakness. In all of her trusting failure. Time had passed and she hadn't changed one bit. She hadn't ever become a threat.

Once again, he was watching her in the rain. He could never seem to stay away.

He had, for all these years, watched her alone. Watched a small child in a yellow raincoat, then a taller, feisty girl with her pink hair drawn into buns, and then a young woman with an indomitable will and a striking resemblance to their mother.

He was watching her with someone else this time. A sandy-blond haired man in a dark uniform. There was a small child in her arms, cradled as gently as he had held her when she was young. She was laughing, her endless blue eyes fixed upon that man in sweetness and a promise of a wonderful life.

She was watching that man as she had used to look upon him—as if he could make everything in the world right. As if there was no one she cherished more, looked up to more.

The day when she had stopped chasing after him had finally come, as he had known it would. Their sibling bond replaced—destroyed at last by his indifference and her moving on.

A harsh smile twisted darkly on Kamui's lips as he looked at his sister. Nothing lasts forever.

A white bandage flurried around his face, violently moving in the downpour of rain. Kamui caught it effortlessly, wrapping it about his head once more, obscuring his face and replacing his mask.

His eyes lingering on the rapidly disappearing woman, waiting until she had passed from his vision to leave.

Her figure grew smaller and smaller, her pink hair eventually becoming only a blur of color in the rain.

And then she vanished into the droplets, becoming one with them.

He abruptly turned, opening up his maroon umbrella as he walked away, from both her and a long-forgotten past.

_You're still weak._

An image of a small laughing baby staring up at him adoringly danced through his mind.

_Stay weak, Kagura._

A pink-haired child clapped her hands in excitement as her brother offered to play with her.

_That way…_

Clutching onto him as they stood there, watching their mother be lowered into the wet earth, as though he was her last hope on that planet.

_I won't have to…_

Crying, hearing her screams and pleas as she begged them to stop fighting, begged their father not to hurt him. Begged them to remember how much they loved each other.

_Destroy you someday._

Her horror-struck, confused face as he walked away from that house forever. Her sobs as she chased him, and her heartrending cries as he told her how weak and useless she was.

_That way…_

Seeing her for the first time in years, in Yoshiwara of all places, and having her furiously shout at him that she was going to change him back.

_You'll be safe, forever…_

A glimpse of her throughout the passage of time, here and there, but never too close, and never too far. But always, always separated and apart.

_From me…_

Her visage alight with bliss, as she embraced a pink-haired child of her own and smiled her special smile at someone else.

_Kagura-chan._

* * *

**Okay, so I was watching all of the Gintama episodes again, especially the Yoshiwara arc. And I remembered how much I love Kamui! So, in a dedication to the two siblings (who placed really high in the popularity polls as well, yay) I decided to write a little something about their complicated relationship. Somehow…I don't really think that Kamui is entirely indifferent to his sister as he is portrayed to be. Even Umibouzu said that there was a time that Kamui had been different. **

**I appreciate constructive criticism, helpful tips, or just plain old happy comments, so please leave a review!**


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